Ciao Emi

Well, i've been putting off writing this update b/c i know i'd be bawling the entire time. So i'm going to ignore all rules of punctuation and grammar (which i tend to do anyway, b/c this is a blog, not a book) and lay it out there with full disclosure....

We said goodbye to our lovely nurse, Emi last week (calm down, nothing crazy, she just moved to Colorado). I've been a wreck ever since. I cry and cry thinking about how much we'll miss her. She is the ripe old age of 26, no kids, long, beautifully red curly MERMAID hair flowing down her back. She's lived a sheltered, yet wonderful life (sorry Emi, but it's kinda true lol) Her family is so unbelievably amazing, kind, loving, close, open. The type of people who invite strangers into their home as if they're long lost relatives. I adore them. I adore Emi. We were invited to her going away party, and for most of it she sat outside in a chair holding Amelie in her lap, while I ate and conversed with the friendly folk that make up her cherished life. Her parents' home is this adorable, cottage-like oasis on a street where the ocean meets the sky, a SoCal Mayberry that you just don't see anymore.

(OH WAIT, if you're the nursing staff company, then go ahead and politely disregard this tale right now. You see, families and their nurses are not allowed to become friends outside of the office or their home. It's a policy I wholeheartedly disagree with and, quite obviously, openly ignore.)

Emi is the first nurse who held Amelie all the time. I'd walk in the door from running errands and there I'd see them--Emi holding Amelie, talking and singing to her. She told me she's been wanting to move to Colorado for 10 years (that's like, infinity in 20's timeframe) and the "hardest decision about moving was leaving Amelie." She's only been our nurse for a few months and already she's part of the family. Even grumpy Hubbs loved her. One just can't help but smile around this young lady. I looked forward to seeing her in the mornings (and I don't look forward to ANYONE at 8am. I no likey gettin up before 9am. It's in my dna to sleep in.) She is bright-eyed and bushy tailed, untarnished from life's roadrash, optimistic and cheery, not yet battered and bruised like us old ladies.

More importantly, and I didn't realize this until she left, but Emi reminded me of a kinder, more honest, generous, selfless version of my younger self, one that I had forgotten. I used to be so effin energetic and optimistic, with a fire for life that no one could match. And somewhere along the way, I just got tired, battle-weary. But I can honestly say I haven't let grief get the best of me this time. I did at one point in my life, I wholeheartedly admit it. When we lost JT$ in Extortion 17, that happy part of me just DIED with him. I couldn't breathe and was a broken record of self-absorbed self-pity. With a truckton of work, I eventually let that go, just in time before Amelie got sick, thank the LAWD. but Emi reminded me that, as awesome as I thought I was at that age, I really wasn't. SHE IS. She won't sign a time sheet past the minute she works. She wouldn't accept the meager $100 I gave her as a parting gift. She unapologetically admits she's a bit of a nerd, and gleefully still wears brown Salt Water sandals (please not with socks, Emi. you'll never get a date dressed like that). She spent her LAST DAY at home in San Diego, not with her family and friends, but working at my house and being with Amelie. She gave me three referrals of friends whom she personally called to offer help so I could go out of town. She gave me a rosemary plant b/c she remembered my cooking and saying how I'd like one. She stayed late. She worked on a holiday. She folded laundry. She played and cuddled with Bravery. And she did it all WITH LOVE and a sense of honor that you just can't teach. I was certainly NOT like that when I was her age. (and if you're my former boss' during that time reading this, I'm so sorry I wasn't a better employee. I can tell you that if I approached all my previous careers with the kind of work ethic I have now, I would have been the #1 star employee every time. But I wasn't. I liked to party and play, and I just didn't get it. I had passion but it was always for fun. nothing caught me like motherhood has.) Anyway, Emi is so endearing, she swiftly weaved her way into the fabric of our screwed up lives. 

and just like that, poof! she's gone to Colorado. i don't know why God took Emi away so soon, i have so many thoughts on it, but I can't help but feel that He's telling me to spend more time in the trenches with Amelie alone. giving me this time with her and i need to see it as a gift, not a burden. I'm tryin, but dang I miss her and all her help. this quote is dedicated to Emi leaving this family:

Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.
— Pema Chodron


so you see, Emi taught me that I still don't know shit. I can be kinder. I can be brighter. I can be more generous. this innocent 26 yr old ginger taught this seasoned old badass a thing or two. She will be so missed and I have no problem bribing her with a plane ticket to spend more time with me, uhhhh, I mean Amelie.

Emi truly is an AMELIE's ANGEL. We love you, THANK YOU for looking after our girl as if she were your own.

EMI--I'm kinda hoping this mountain living experiment you're on doesn't work out so we can selfishly have you and your dorky sandals back at the house.


Amelie's Mommy

[p.s. It should be noted: our other nurse, Charity, is an ANGEL too. If she ever left, I think I'd have a nervous breakdown. Charity is on the other end of the age spectrum--in her 40s i think? hard to tell. she has no wrinkles, no body fat, and veins poppin' out of her tiny biceps, yet she has a yuckmouth for sweets like a teenager. She knows more about grace and wisdom than most people I've ever met. She only works two days a week, but she's my therapy, my spirit animal who fully embraces my sick humor--i.e., she left a baby doll head in the jacuzzi as a creepy birthday gift to Boss. My god I love her for that. Not to mention, she kinda keeps my life in order and she knows Amelie's schedule better than I. Plus she can sew like a mutha f$%@er.]




Emi & Amelie: their matching lularoe pants. Stop it. they're so cute.