In her final moments, as I felt her soul leave her body, I held Amelie in my lap, I sang to her....
What would I give to live where you are
What would I pay to stay here beside you
What would I do to see you smiling at me
Where would we walk? where would we run? if we could stay all day in the sun?
just you and me
and I could be, part of your world.
I don't know when, I don't know how, but I know something's starting right now,
watch and you'll see, someday I'll be, part of your world, Amelie.
My eyes played tricks on me, I kept seeing her chest rise and fall, long after the color had left her, as if she were still breathing. But then I remembered Book of Romans, which Ben read to me only hours before, "walk not according to the flesh, but in the Spirit....For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace." Romans 8:4-6.
"...The Spirit intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." Romans 8:26
My groans are too deep for words. Take her in your arms, JT, embrace her with all the love of heaven. You always wanted to be a father, now you are. She was only on loan to me, my sweet Amelie.