So far, our Hawaiian Healing Ohana Vacation has been just that. Hubbs has been getting up every morning at 4am, driving an hour to a spot on the other side of the island and paddle surfing with the locals. he comes home just in time for breakfast. I found a local spin studio, hit up a few seriosuly humid hot classes, but most of the days have just been doing whatever we want on the fly.

 That is a totally new feeling for this family. We could NEVER leave the house on the fly. Never go anywhere. Just taking Lulu 1 mile to her school for graduation didn't even seem like an option. It makes me reflect on how we got used to that lifestyle. And how horrible it must've been for her. Never be able to leave, at least  without being just so uncomfortable. So while I'm enjoying myself, her suffering is with me still.  

the sun β˜€οΈ  and wind πŸ’¨ tell me to let it go. Then i see a little girl swimming, with long brown curly hair, a chubby booty and a sassy personality, refusing to get out of the water bc she loves it so much, and it all comes rushing back in a massive wave of emotion.

Yesterday we got a private tour from a local, a Hawaiian historian and musician who sang and recited poems and told us of all things Hawaii 🌺 

 He took us all over Maui, toured the place is only locals go, hidden churches, state parks with beautiful streams, the best mandalas on the island, the best aΓ§ai bowls on the island, and he gave us a picnic at the Bailey house. He brought a dozen different types of fruit πŸŠπŸŒπŸ’πŸ πŸ₯– from his organic garden. We had a little Hawaiian 🎢 music sesh, and stopped to pray and offer our thanks to the Virgin Mary.  we saw sea turtles and the jungle, and went to a treacherous beach with a slightly hidden, but delicate reef.

it was an incredible day.  Even in Maui, I feel myself slipping into the darkness. So yesterday was great because I was so distracted by the never ending amount of enriching Hawaiian culture, and to see the Hubbs laughing and smiling, really was a soothing, welcoming distraction.


 Bravery was a total trooper about it, it was a nine hour day and, as long as he was being fed a steady supply of chips and Hawaiian shaved ice, he just rolled with it all.  At one point however, towards the end, our guide, Pono, was softly singing us this sentimental Hawaiian parting song, and, smack dab right in the middle of it, with the most irritated whiny nasally complaint he could muster, Bravery bellows, "Ugggghhhh I thought we were leaving! When can we be doooooonnnnne? "  πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ‘ŽπŸΌπŸ˜ 😏 πŸ€πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

We came back to the condo, Brave is now calling it our "Hawaii home" (I wish buddy),   shoved our faces with fish burgers and called it a day. It was the first day I have not cried since…well I can't really remember. I guess that's a good thing? or maybe that means there's a whole lot more stored up for me the rest of this week.

Bravery has his first surf lesson now. Hoping he'll at least get ON the board, he's been timid and inescure of himself lately.

He asked me again last night, "why do we only have 1 kid? We need to get another kid."

 Sure, I'll run down to kid-mart and pick one up today. He just looked at me like, can we do that? I said, no bro, absolutely not. but we can pick up more ice cream. Attention temporarily diverted, conversation for now avoided, 🍦 sometimes u gotta just stop and eat ice cream, enjoy the exact MINUTE you're living in, and forget everything else. And that's what we did. 



picking a flower for sister 🌺  


Hawaiian musical instruments. Uhhh, we were jammin skillz.Β 


Praying to Virgin Mother.Β 

Peppa Pig, one of Amelie's favorite characters, is with us on this trip. A constant reminder of my Amelie, a talisman, her spirit is with us.



Riding the current (literally and figuratively)Β